HLP Allies: Inside the Mind of a True Ally with Lee Chambers

As we move forward through our Allyship Month at Her Leadership Playbook, I am too excited to share you with this conversation.

We are joined by Lee Chambers, an award-winning psychologist, founder of Male Allies UK, and one of the most respected voices on inclusive leadership.

Lee’s journey is honest and deeply human. From a life-altering health crisis to becoming a stay-at-home father, from questioning masculinity to building a platform that supports men who want to do better, he brings real-life experience and a powerful perspective on what allyship truly looks like in practice.

In his website, he mentions that:

A lack of diversity at senior management level means women's experiences at work aren't widely known or understood, and so little to nothing is done to change the systems or behaviour. Without training these perception gaps will persist.

And this totally resonates with HLP's mission.

He is also sharing below statistics, which clearly indicates that "there's a large disparity between how men and women feel at work in terms of inclusion, access to opportunities, and recognition" and why we need to continue our efforts to work on diversity, equity and inclusion.

81% of women : feel some form of exclusion at work

92% of men: don't believe that they're excluding women

48% of women: feel appreciated at work

79% of men: feel appreciated at work

If we come to our discussion, you will see that his words are a reminder that allyship is about showing up, staying curious, and being part of the change.

Let's dive in.

HLP: You openly share your journey into allyship, including losing the ability to walk, reframing your masculinity, and becoming a stay-at-home father. How have these personal experiences shaped your approach to allyship and inclusive leadership?

Lee: 

I'd like to think I've always been inclusive and fair as a person, but it wasn't until I faced adversity, had a period of reflection, and spent time in female dominant environments listening and learning, did I realize how much I was missing and what I could do to make a difference.

Our experiences shape us, and my health journey made me grateful for the small things and consider just how important my support network was. And becoming a stay-at-home father changed me as a man, both in terms of how I saw the world, how I perceived caregiving, and how I understood women's lived experiences.

When I reflect on what the journey has given me, it's an ability to be curious, a desire to learn, a drive to make a difference and a humility to know I don't have all the answers.

HLP: As the founder of Male Allies UK, what inspired you to start this initiative? What impact do you hope Male Allies UK will have in engaging more men to actively promote gender equity and inclusion in the workplace?

Lee: 

Male Allies UK was born from the impact that going on the allyship journey had on me, which was positive and beneficial. Very rarely do we hear of the benefits to men of becoming more inclusive and working with women to close gender gaps.

When I started the journey, I wasn't sure what to do and how to do it, and know many men feel that way today, so we exist to support them on that journey. It's been amazing to see how building allyship skills has been beneficial to men, making them more connected to themselves, more self-aware, less fearful and more collaborative.

Our aim is to get more men engaged in inclusion and building these skills, so they can be part of shaping the future, reducing the barriers that exist and becoming better, happier men, fathers and partners in the process.

HLP: On your website, you emphasize that "allyship is the new leadership." In your view, how are allyship and leadership connected, and why should today’s leaders prioritize being good allies as part of their leadership style?

Lee: 

Leadership is changing. The narrow masculine form of leadership, taken from the military with dominance, control and physicality at its core, is only one type of leadership, and is less effective in a world where workplaces are diverse.

Leadership is about bringing people together, and creating a space where difference can be an advantage, working in unison towards shared goals. Technology is changing skills, but leaders will always be the ones who build bridges and role model behaviors.

Whether its challenging conversations, navigating uncertainty or attracting talent, the skills of allyship are becoming more valuable and those who work on them today will be at an advantage in the future.

HLP: In a recent article, you wrote that inclusive practices like allyship show "we are stronger when we stand together." What are some practical ways organizations can foster this spirit of solidarity and embed allyship into everyday practices? Can you share any examples of how allyship has positively impacted workplace culture or performance?

Lee: 

While the world has become more individualistic, there is a clear desire for belonging and connection. Collective action has been behind much of the positive change we have seen in our lifetimes, and with division, distrust and polarization rife, opportunities to unite are increasingly important. It is essential organizations work to bring clarity to what allyship is, as it is often misunderstood, and showcase the small micro-moments of allyship and how they compound to build a skillset.

Whether this be meeting etiquette, sponsorship programs, flexible policies or ensuring credit is fairly distributed, there are so many practical actions that we share in our training.

And 80 percent of the men we've surveyed say that engaging in allyship has made their businesses more effective and efficient.

HLP:

Thanks for sharing it with us. We are glad to hear that we have more and more studies to prove our point.

You have highlighted that some men hesitate to engage in inclusion initiatives because it can feel like "there is nothing for them," and they worry about saying the wrong thing. How do you address these concerns and encourage men to overcome this reluctance? What advice would you give to male colleagues who want to be allies but are unsure where to begin?

Lee: 

When I started the journey nine years ago, I didn't know what to do and didn't know it would end up benefiting me. I just felt I needed to do something to be part of the change, rather than part of the problem.

As we've seen in our studies, fear is the biggest barrier to engaging and most men see it as a loss if they uplift others.

But we've seen the fear reduce when men have taken time to learn the fundamentals and move beyond the misconceptions, and being able to see that today's discomfort is tomorrow's growth has helped men sustain the learning journey.

A great starting point is to spend five minutes a day, reading a book, watching a TED Talk, to upskill yourself, and start to think about what you aren't seeing with curiosity.

HLP: Part of your work involves helping men understand issues such as misogyny, menopause, and microaggressions. Why do you feel it is essential for male allies to educate themselves on these topics, and how does this knowledge enable them to become better allies?

Lee: 

You can't challenge what you can't see and don't notice. We've found that men who go through allyship training are four times more likely to notice gender microaggressions and feel able to tackle them. And it shouldn't be women educating men, as they already expend enough energy navigating the barriers that exist, and that would mean more emotional labor for them.

When men feel confident enough to talk about a topic, they also feel more confident in asking for support, being open about how they are feeling and allow themselves to be allied to by others.

Just because we may not face menopause, 52 percent of the UK population will go through it directly, meaning we are all indirectly impacted, whether we know it or not. Truth be told, knowledge is power when it comes to things that have been stigmatized, and being curious about the lived experience of others is often the catalyst to explore who we are and who we can be, which is vital for men in this ever-evolving world.

Lee reminds us that allyship is not a title or a one-time effort. It is a decision to show up, stay open, and do the inner work so that we can lead better and live more connected lives. His journey is a powerful example of how men can become true partners in change, not just by standing beside women, but by doing the work within themselves too.

We are so grateful to Lee for sharing his time and insight with us during Allyship Month.

To learn more about his work, visit leechambers.org or connect with maleallies.co.uk to explore how you can take the next step in your own journey.

More HLP Allies interviews are coming soon. Stay with us.