When Work Breaks Your Heart

By Pınar Oktar

In one of my recent coaching sessions, a woman sat across from me. She was composed, articulate, accomplished. But just beneath the surface, I could sense it. She was heartbroken. Not because of a breakup or a family loss. She was grieving her job. Or more accurately, the dream she had tied to it.

She had given her all to this company. She stayed up late perfecting presentations, mentored junior colleagues, took on stretch assignments no one else wanted. She believed in the mission. She saw herself growing into something bigger there. And then, it all shifted. A new manager came in. Her role changed. Her voice, once welcomed, started to go unheard in meetings. Decisions were made behind closed doors. Recognition faded. She was still there, technically. But the part of her that once lit up at work felt like it had disappeared.

What she was feeling was not just burnout or disappointment. It was heartbreak.

And she is not alone.

As coaches, mentors, and leaders, we often focus on helping people move forward, stay confident, or get unstuck. But before we rebuild, we need to pause. There is a part of the journey that is rarely talked about. The heartbreak that comes when something you once loved no longer feels safe, fulfilling, or true.

In the workplace, heartbreak can look like being passed over for a promotion you worked hard for. Watching your efforts go unnoticed. Losing a leader who believed in you. Staying loyal to a company that no longer reflects your values. Or waking up one day and realizing the culture that once energized you now leaves you drained.

We do not talk about this enough. Partly because the language of corporate life rarely includes grief or loss. But I have seen it time and time again in coaching sessions. Avoiding the feelings does not protect us. It only keeps us from understanding what really happened.

Naming the heartbreak is not weakness. It is the beginning of healing.

Here is what I often tell coachees when they find themselves in this place:

• You are allowed to grieve. Just because it is a job does not mean it is just work. Our roles often hold pieces of our identity, our hopes, and our sense of purpose. When they shift or fall apart, it is natural to feel sadness.

• You are not too emotional. You cared. That is what made you a great leader, a dedicated team member, a driver of impact. Caring deeply is not the problem. Losing what you cared about without being able to speak that truth is.

• You can take time. Whether you stay and try to rebuild, or choose to walk away, that choice is yours. But you do not need to rush. Heartbreak has lessons too. It teaches us what we value most, what we are no longer willing to accept, and what we need in order to thrive.

And most of all: You are not alone.

Her Leadership Playbook was never just about ambition or visibility. It was born from the real and often quiet struggles of women who lead with heart. Women who fall down and rise again. Women who carry disappointment with grace and still choose growth.

If you are feeling this heartbreak right now, I want you to know that you are seen. You are strong even when it hurts. And you are allowed to pause before you rise again.

Because heartbreak in work is real. But so is healing. And you do not have to go through it in silence.

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